A Beginning and An End

This is the twenty-fourth in a series of journal entries begun in October, 2009. See initial blog post on February 21, 2010.

November 19, 2009

Am I hearing you, Lord? Sweet whispers again, last night following Brett’s teaching and during communion, “It has a beginning and an end.”

Just as Isaiah had a mission, a purpose, a directive, difficult and humiliating though it was, it was something he would always be remembered for; having to walk naked and exposed before the people. And then there is Ezekial, directed by God to lie on his side for 390 days, then 40 on the next…to eat food cooked over dung…illogical to my mind yet filled with purpose in the mind of God.

Sitting there at your feet last night, remembering your purpose Jesus, the shedding of your blood, the breaking of your body, you spoke to my heart. “This is my purpose for you, Robyn. You may not understand, you may feel open and exposed and very uncomfortable…it may not seem logical…but it IS my purpose. This is how you are to be about the Father’s business. Walk through this. It has a beginning AND it has an end. You will arise and walk forth from it.”

I heard hope in that Lord, did I hear you correctly? This will have an end, as that of Isaiah and Ezekial, an end here while I am yet “in the land of the living”. O Lord, confirm that in my heart. For today it has given me hope and comfort, knowing that this season may be difficult, but I will live and remain to tell of it.

You are using this that you have given to reveal to me more of you and more of my own heart…how wide is that chasm, Lord. I plead as David of old, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”

Use this Lord to break me, to shape me, to make me over into your image. May my heart ever be tender towards those who walk a similar path. May your Spirit flow forth from this wounded body with healing water that refreshes all who pass by.

May the season of pain, of wondering, of fear pass, but may that which it produces remain forever.

Amen and Amen.