Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A Beginning and An End

This is the twenty-fourth in a series of journal entries begun in October, 2009. See initial blog post on February 21, 2010.

November 19, 2009

Am I hearing you, Lord? Sweet whispers again, last night following Brett’s teaching and during communion, “It has a beginning and an end.”

Just as Isaiah had a mission, a purpose, a directive, difficult and humiliating though it was, it was something he would always be remembered for; having to walk naked and exposed before the people. And then there is Ezekial, directed by God to lie on his side for 390 days, then 40 on the next…to eat food cooked over dung…illogical to my mind yet filled with purpose in the mind of God.

Sitting there at your feet last night, remembering your purpose Jesus, the shedding of your blood, the breaking of your body, you spoke to my heart. “This is my purpose for you, Robyn. You may not understand, you may feel open and exposed and very uncomfortable…it may not seem logical…but it IS my purpose. This is how you are to be about the Father’s business. Walk through this. It has a beginning AND it has an end. You will arise and walk forth from it.”

I heard hope in that Lord, did I hear you correctly? This will have an end, as that of Isaiah and Ezekial, an end here while I am yet “in the land of the living”. O Lord, confirm that in my heart. For today it has given me hope and comfort, knowing that this season may be difficult, but I will live and remain to tell of it.

You are using this that you have given to reveal to me more of you and more of my own heart…how wide is that chasm, Lord. I plead as David of old, “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.”

Use this Lord to break me, to shape me, to make me over into your image. May my heart ever be tender towards those who walk a similar path. May your Spirit flow forth from this wounded body with healing water that refreshes all who pass by.

May the season of pain, of wondering, of fear pass, but may that which it produces remain forever.

Amen and Amen.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

In The Midst of November

This is the twenty-third in a series of journal entries begun in October, 2009. See initial blog post on February 21, 2010.

November 17, 2009

What a difference an hour with you can make, my precious Lord. Agitated and weary I awoke this morning, unable to focus on you or your Word. And then you beckoned, ”Step outside…the wind is blowing, the sun is about to rise.”

Who would deem it possible that you could refresh my soul out doors on a mid-November morning in Bend?

Fresh, light rain had kissed the earth, washing away the remnants of yesterdays snow and dust. The earth was drinking it in, just as my soul was drinking in of your mercies which touch my soul like the rain.

The wind was blowing strong, forewarning of a storm to come, but there was such strength and majesty in that breeze….a promise that you are there, in the storm.

Clouds scurried across the sky at your command, hurrying to make way for the arrival of the sun. It was though you had orchestrated another glorious sunrise for an audience of one. As though you were reminding me….there are many more to come.

Light filtered through the towering pines, such glory! A prayer filled my heart, “May your light shine through me oh God, that others might see the awesome design of your Spirit.”

And finally….there was my precious little flower patch, and in amazement I saw there were still blooms in the midst of November. A promise from you Lord, that in even in the coldest seasons, the life which is born of you never withers or fades. As I abide in you, no matter the season, you bring life and laughter and love….always.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Guilty Wanderers

This is the twenty-second in a series of journal entries begun in October, 2009. See initial blog post on February 21, 2010.

November 16, 2009

Psalm 107 strikes deep within my soul. Wanderers....rebellious fools...wilfull travelers in the pursuit of business….what an unlikely lot. Guilty all in their own ways. United by a common thread in this Psalm….they all cried out to you and you delivered them. Why? Because of your steadfast love.

I too Lord have wandered in rebellion, willfully pursing sin and chasing the ways of the world. But Jesus!

Oh Lord, where would I be had you not reached down in your great love and drawn me in at an early age. You have been faithful these many years, even when my faith has faltered.

I praise you, my Lord. I thank you my God. Your steadfast love endures forever.

“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! Let them thank the Lord for his steadfast love, for his wondrous works to the children of man! For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things.”