A Great God

In October of 2009 the Lord set my feet upon a path of fear and faith, testing and trusting. It is a journey that has found me falling, time and time again, at the feet of of the one who gave His life for me. In it all I have come to realize that God answers the cry of my heart not because I have great faith, but because He is a Great God.

Some who read this blog may understand fully of what I write, for you too are in the midst of a difficult trial. For you, it is my prayer that as I share a part of that journey, as recorded in my journals through that season, that God might use a small part of what He has worked in my life to encourage you on your path.

October 16, 2009

And so the journey begins….a word from our friend, my doctor, yesterday…a word I really did not want to hear. “The nodule has grown”.

To be human is to hear those words and to fear. “What if?” echoes in my mind. I hear and I think, my days may have limit…and yet as a mortal…one who must put off this earthy tent…I understand my days have been appointed by the Lord.

I do not know how this will unfold. Is this it, the final preparation for a glorious journey I fear yet long for? Or is this a time to simply be transformed from glory to greater glory as I see you anew, oh God. Is this your way of answering all I have prayed through the years…the yearning desire to know you more? I do not know, but I know Who I know.

My prayer is that of David in Psalm 16, that beautiful Psalm which you directed me to in that precious midnight hour just past.

“Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge….
The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup,
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places,
indeed I have a beautiful inheritance.
I bless the Lord who gives me counsel,
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the Lord always before me;
because he is at my right hand I shall not be shaken.
Therefore my heart is glad and my whole being rejoices:
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.
You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

You are my inheritance…you hold my lot. In you oh Lord I place my trust.