Do I Know You?

This is the twenty-sixth in a series of journal entries begun in October, 2009. See initial blog post on February 21, 2010.


December 1, 2009

Do I know you Lord? I have read about you, taught about you, given my life to you…but do I know you? Is that what you are doing in this time? Are you taking that which I perceive to be difficult and fearful and using it to reveal yourself to me?

This I know, Lord, in the darkness of night when fear closes in, when even my very breath seems to ebb, it is your name I cry sweet Jesus. Men and medicine cannot bring the help I ultimately need. I need the help that comes from knowing that you and you alone are my keeper (Psalm 121). Because of you “the moon shall not stumble me by night…you will keep me from evil…you will keep my life”.

The nights are hard, Lord, it is in the hour of darkness when my body betrays me. I will cling to your promise…tonight…that the moon shall not strike me…that darkness will not cause my body to react in fear…that you ARE the keeper of my life.

Do I know you Lord? I do, in part, and yet you would have me to know you more. For in knowing comes trust and in trust, is rest. I am laboring, Lord, laboring to enter into your rest. Dispel my unbelief. I believe that you have saved me and that you can heal me. May I rest in your steadfast love, in who you are, in knowing that you do all things well.